Conferences & Training CentreRyan has completed gender reassignment and has been living as a man for 11 years in Vancouver. Ryan will be respected by addressing him only by his present name and by the use of male pronouns. This is his story.
Ryan entered Marymond in 1996 about to turn 17. He had previously bounced around from different group homes, hospitals and the former Seven Oaks Centre for Youth.
He had a troubling past, coming from a chaotic, abusive and transient family upbringing. It led to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that caused very low self-esteem and an inability to express his feelings. To compound his anxiety was his awareness of feeling like a man in a woman’s body.
Fortunately for Ryan, he felt the love and support from the Marymound staff when he arrived, as they were the first adults he had ever felt safe being around. “They gave me an opportunity to embrace who I truly was, and am,” recalls Ryan. “They got me my first bottle of men’s cologne, and took me to get short haircuts while also understanding my need to shop in the men’s section.”
Although it was a brief window into his life for the 10 months he was at Marymound, Ryan says the staff gave him the opportunity to be a kid because he didn’t have to take care of himself for a little while. “It was bizarre having adults genuinely taking care of me and expecting nothing in return. It gave me a sense of autonomy and the skills I needed to move forward,” says Ryan. He recalls many fond memories, including: playing cards, the tolerating of his unique sense of humour, going to camp, movies, getting proper dental care, and cooking and baking with staff.
After aging out of the system in 1997, it was a frightening and difficult time for Ryan. “Living alone in my apartment, I called a Marymound caregiver every night and sometimes would talk to them until morning. It really helped, as it showed me I was worth unconditional love. One staff member also provided a lot of mentorship to me as a queer youth by connecting me to some great supports in the community,” recalls Ryan.
Today Ryan works in the concurrent disorders field for an organization that helps drug users to recover and operates under a harm reduction, housing-first framework. He previously worked with street youth and is now attending school with hopes of becoming a Primary Care Paramedic. Ryan also keeps very busy as a musician, photographer and freelance writer.
Ryan’s family consists of friends and former co-workers. He’s been sober since 2009 and has developed a solid relationship with himself which helped cultivate some fulfilling relationships over the years. He is very open to, and is looking forward to additional positive relationships throughout his life. Ryan currently maintains relationships with many present and former Marymound staff. “To this day, when reconnecting with them, they continue to love me, mentor me and unconditionally accept me. In my heart, they are who I consider to be my parents,” says Ryan.